Choosing a Dog for Children
Summary: The decision to
add a dog to the family is a big one. The right dog at the right time can add a
great deal to a child’s life. Memories from many happy years with the dog carry
the meaning of a child’s relationship with a dog well into adulthood, where it
helps people become great parents.
But the decision needs
to be made very carefully to ensure a good dog-to-family match. There are few
situations that demand as stable a temperament in a dog as life with children
younger than school age. This is because young children lack empathy, and, if
allowed, can severely stress dogs.
Good breeders know
whether their pups could fit particular families or not, so it’s critical that
you find a good breeder. The breeder cares about the kids as well as the puppy,
and wants a truly happy ending for everyone involved.
Puppies are not the
best choice of dog for young families…
* * *
Parents dream of surprising their young children with a
puppy, particularly during the holidays. They want a magic moment of childhood
excitement followed by an idyllic relationship between child and puppy growing
up together. Good preparation can help make it come true.
Genetics and
Upbringing
The dog a puppy will become depends largely on two things.
One is the genetic heritage from the dog’s ancestors. Good genetics requires
good planning. Their responsible breeders lovingly place puppies from
well-planned breedings in carefully screened homes. A puppy with poor genetics
can be a risk to your children.
The second factor influencing the dog that puppy will grow
to be is how the puppy is raised, starting from birth. A puppy who goes through
a shelter has increased risks of problems because of the shelter experience
itself, as well as other mishandling that most likely occurred prior to the
shelter.
A pup exposed to a large number of other dogs in a crowded
situation is also at high risk of developing disease. That’s in addition to the
increased risk of genetic diseases from poor breeding.
This is not to say that you should not adopt from a shelter
or a rescue. But when adopting from these settings, look to the adult dogs
rather than the puppies. Someone else will adopt the puppies, you can bet on
that. With the adult dogs, size is not guesswork as it is with puppies. The
type of grooming the coat will need can also be accurately determined. A better
guess at the breeds that went into a mix can be made in the adult dog than in
the puppy, and breed has a great deal to do with a dog’s behavior.
Activity level may not be possible to determine in a
shelter. The dog may be highly stressed and tired, and as a result much less
active than normal. Temperament, too, may be impossible to fully assess until
the dog has been out of the shelter for a matter of weeks or even months.
Many people are in a position to risk that things will turn
out so that they’ll be able to responsibly manage the traits that emerge as the
shelter puppy grows up or the adult dog settles in and finishes maturing.
Parents of preschool-age children often are not in this position. There are few
situations that demand as stable a temperament in a dog as life with children
younger than school age.
An additional problem is that growing up with the child,
which intuitively would seem to guarantee the dog would be the perfect lifelong
companion for that child, often turns out to create serious problems. Young
children lack empathy, and if allowed can severely stress dogs.
Puppies may not react much to this treatment in puppyhood,
but as they mature into their defense drives, they’ll often decide the child is
NOT going to do that again. The preventive solution is for parents to supervise
and govern the child’s behavior. In order to do this, parents need to recognize
what child behaviors will affect future dog behavior, even though the puppy
doesn’t react at the time.
Is a Puppy the Best
Idea for Your Family?
You can prevent many problems by opting for a stable adult
dog from a known background with an excellent history around children. It helps
if the dog is large enough not to be easily injured by the child, but perhaps
not large enough to knock the child into next week with a playful bounce. Some
very large dogs are quite steady, though.
It’s not terribly difficult to find an adult dog who is
already housetrained, especially if the dog is spayed/neutered. These surgical
procedures have been found to reduce the statistical risk of the dog injuring a
child, too. Having housetraining already accomplished certainly makes life
easier on a young family.
It’s better for the dog as well as the new family if the dog
comes directly from a home where you can meet the former family and learn of
the dog’s history. Going from one real home to another, without a stop at the
animal shelter, means less stress on the dog and a better temperament
assessment.
Many dogs who are quite good with children need new homes
for other reasons. Proven ability with kids is a precious thing in a dog.
The Best Source for a
Puppy
Puppies are high-maintenance. If your family has the time
and knowledge – or access to gaining the knowledge in a good puppy class – you
need a puppy with the best chance of growing into a child-safe dog. That means
good genetics and the right start in life. Consult responsible breeders to help
you determine which breeds could fit your family, and which specific puppies.
Good breeders know whether their pups could fit particular families or
not. It’s important that you and the breeder meet and the breeder have
the opportunity to observe your children with dogs. Don’t think of this as a
test to try to pass, but rather as an honest and expert evaluation to help you
make the right decision for the welfare of your children. The breeder cares about the kids
as well as the puppy, and wants a truly happy ending for everyone involved.
A responsible breeder will stand behind the puppy and help
you when problems arise. If it happens that a mistake has been made and the
puppy isn’t right for your family, a responsible breeder will take the puppy
back and find pup a new home.
Be prepared to wait for a puppy, not a
ready-in-time-for-the-holidays deal. In fact, you should be suspicious of a
breeder who gears up to produce lots of holiday puppies. Responsible breeders
place puppies in homes, rather than sell them like merchandise.
Timing
Sometimes it’s better to wait until the children reach
school age before acquiring a dog. This doesn’t mean your children can’t have
positive contact with dogs in the meantime. One thing you can do as a family is
make friends with a responsible breeder and help socialize puppies to children
in the right way. Your kids can also be involved with therapy dogs and good
dogs who live with your extended family and friends.
After the mental development of empathy at age 5 to 7 years,
children have increased ability to treat dogs properly. Parents still need to
be careful, especially with boys up to age 9, who are the most common victims
of severe dog bites.
The decision to add a dog to the family is a big one. The right dog at
the right time can add a great deal to a child’s life. Memories from
many happy years with the dog carry the meaning of a child’s relationship with
a dog far beyond that snapshot on a holiday morning.
